Help w/ eating disorder?

I have come to realize, I may have a small eating disorder. Some days its worse than others, some days I don't care. Other days, i become completely obsessive about calories and content of the food I am eating. I also smoke a lot of green which used to give me munchies, now i just feel guilty when i eat. It doesn't really make me hungry anymore. I think i may also be depressed. Should I see my regular doctor, or should I see a nutritionist/ or some expert like that. I have really low self esteem. I am trying to make the right choice here. I am tired of feeling like I do everything wrong. Please don't put me down. I guess what I am asking is if you have been through this, then tell me what professionals did to help you. I'm tired of feeling alone in this. My fiance has always loved me, even before I felt this way. I want to feel okay with myself like I used to. Its not fair to him. Im not asking for an easy way out. Just advice on how to get through it. And don't say, just eat and you will be okay. People that haven't been through this don't understand. I do eat, i just feel bad about WHAT i eat. Its like I'm scared its going to turn into fat. I used to be 40lbs heavier and happy. When I started losing weight, I just wanted to lose more and more and now I feel I'll never be happy.